to explain how words cannot explain.

life would be real.

my life knows no words. it just does what it does.

hi blog.

its been a while.

but im here.  im not going anywhere. except for australia in a few weeks.

so its been years in the making for me… a part of my life finally complete.. a part that is a HUGE part of me.. its my inspiration, my ambition, my guide.. its the purest form for me.

A part of my musical checklist is complete.

1. hope and pray for the police to get back together to tour

2. see them on tour (twice)

3. get the DVD live box set and live CD.

yeah it may sound ridiculous to you…how is this THAT important? you may say.. lets see if i can explain a bit of it.

I listen to all kinds of music. from left to right. i embrace it all and like somethings more then others. I try to find things i like in all music.. keep my mind open, and learn.  I have studied music for a really long time. probably more particular in studying in than most.  I can talk about the weirdest parts of music, stuff people dont think about. sometimes its really deep, sometimes its on the surface. I break down songs in my head, trying to figure out why this part is like this, or why did he sing it that way.. THEN i break down the recording style of it (i am a recording engineer after all).. trying to understand reverbs, compression, tones.. etc.  its pretty complex, not that fun to talk about, probably not that interesting to you, and i dont really give a fuck if you think im crazy.

i am.

I have every track recorded by The Police. I have studied almost every one of their songs. I have cried to their songs, i have laughed, got headaches, mesmerized, bewildered, saddened, relieved…you name it. every emotion. (i know my closest friends are saying im SOOO GAY right now…)

but this shit means alot to me.. its my foundation for music. its what i qualify as all around A+ music. from band mates, to vocals, to lyrics, writing, playing, recording.. you name it.  its one of the only bands where i feel like im in the studio with them while they are recording.. its not perfect, its not totally clean.. its real. its connecting. its full circle. 3D. emotional.

Driven to Tears is probably one of the most perfect songs of all time. The chorus is unreal. the way Copeland plays the drums during it hits me everytime. and I am getting to watch them play this on my tv right now. its amazing. its perfect.

anyway..

There isnt anything else that makes me feel like this makes me feel. At both concerts, i was so happy.. Happiest I have every been i think.  Its like it showed me my purpose in life. showed me to just let go and be myself.

Only a few people really understand my appreciation for this. I was given a chance to explain to them, and i hope they understand this is really a HUGE part of me, and i cherish it.  its deep.  and i wanna thank them for listening to me and understanding.

so here i am. years later, and the hope is complete. its so fucking awesome. fuck yeah.

thanks for listening.. thanks for saying am a fucking nut. thanks for making fun of me.

wrapped around my finger. damn…

TRADER FUCKING JOES!!!

Oh man. What a day. Battled and bruised. But Atleast it ended with a smile. Life is ok.

gummie life savers.

was craving some.. but the mobil station didnt have any. so i had gummi bears. just as good.. good good good stuff.

*crickets*

how am i supposed to get used to this?

What’s up boners?? Well I’m at the white horse. Just had a gnar gnar Thai massage and needed a beer or two or three or nineteen. My neck is fucked. But I’m not allowed to complain about it, cause some crazy lady scolds me and gives me shit for opening my mouth. I had a bowl of pretzels, popcorn, and chips all to myself, plus my beer. Weird thing is I don’t feel full. Was thinking about a hot dog , but over it. Yes I put a space before the comma, and I’m not gonna fix it. So fuck off. I just shook some dudes hand. Sweet. So today capadonna and coolio came in. Cap pulled out a joint, and usually I tell people take it outside. But I don’t think it’s possible to tell wu tang to go outside. So fuck it. I let him smoke. Was funny shit. I was like, well if anyone is gonna smoke weed in my room, might as well be wu tang. The bar is full of dudes right now. Probably a bunch of afi kids. I like rolling to a bar solo. I get to people watch, be mysterious, and blog on my phone. I just cracked a joke to vicky. And she laughed. No I’m not flirting with her so shut it. Fucking neck hurts. Hard to swallow even. Bunch of kooks in my bar right now. Why is it so hard to find people as cool as me? Hi you. Hope u are sleeping well. Night.

cant buy me love… sheesh..